Monday, October 17, 2011

Bee that as it may....

I am not unlike many people when it comes to bees.  I get nervous when they come around, I move from where I am to avoid their presence, I smack them dead every chance I get.

Until the last bit of summer this year when I was on my deck absorbing the sun and reading a book.  It was a perfect summer afternoon situation full of relaxation and reflection.  This bee stealthily landed on the top of my book.  My innate behavior kicked in as I swat at it with the typical jolt of breath and body.  The thing didn't budge.  I went to smack it dead and I stopped in mid swat because this wave of calm flash-flooded through me, and a voice inside said "wait, listen, watch, feel".

I sat back into my chair and opened myself to this bee.  My vision set upon it like a magnet, and I felt a connection to this little honey maker.  I imagined a day in the life of a bee; the work, the sweetness they produce to provide food for their families and I remember reading that honey is the only made in nature food that doesn't kill anything to produce.  This filled me with a sweetness in the heart that dropped me deeper into the connection.  I allowed myself to see the busyness of his life, his honey-making, and even the busyness of his wings in his flight.  I reflected this back to myself and wondered where I could be more useful and productive, where in my life could I make more sweetness?  At some point during this awareness, the little guy maneuvered himself on my book to be facing me.  No fear from either of us, just an understanding.  I went back to reading and he stayed on my book for another chapter.  I found myself half reading because I still felt this kind of weight to his presence, like a hug, and I wanted to keep absorbing his lessons energetically.  I didn't get up until he left.  

My brain kicked in with the question of "what does a bee symbolize?"  "What did this mean?"  I went to searching the all-knowing internet, and found this little snippet:

Fertility and the Honey of Life,
Accomplishing the Impossible
Bees are the symbol of fertility and sexuality.
Its honeycomb, a hexagon, is the symbol of the heart and
represents the sweetness of life found within our own heart.
It is also the symbol of the sun and all its energies.
The bee reminds us to extract the honey of life
and to make our lives fertile (productive) while the sun shines.
No matter how great the dream is, there is the promise of fulfillment
if we pursue our dreams.
If a Bee has shown up in your life, examine your own productivity.
 Are you doing all you can to make your life more fertile?
Are you busy enough?
Are you making time to savor the honey of life and not becoming a workaholic?
The Bee is the symbol of accomplishing the impossible.
Aerodynamically, its body is too large for its wings and should not be able to fly.
Although now we understand how it does fly (high rate of wing movement),
the Bee remains a symbol of accomplishing anything you put your mind to.
In Hinduism, the Bee relates to Vishnu, Krishna or Kama, the God of Love.
In Egypt, the Bee symbolized royalty.
In Greece, it was the symbol of the Eleusinian Mysteries.
The Celts associated the Bee with hidden wisdom.

Needless to say I was pretty happy that my reflection matched the productive part.  And ya know what? That bee was right, I hadn't been applying motivation or inspiration fully into my work.   I had been telling myself that my whole vision is impossible to do right now while I homeschool my daughter.  But again, this bee was right, I can accomplish anything I put my mind to.  I allowed all this to refuel my fire about my work, and my passion for it.  Yes, my daughter comes first, but there is so much time in a day that I can fill up with the busy sweetness of my purpose.  Thank you bee.

Since this day, bee has been following me and I see it so differently.  Even when I was deer hunting earlier this month, bee was in my hair more than once and other people where trying to swat it out.  I simply stopped them and said it was okay, they are reminding me of something.  Yesterday, in the garden, bee was on my arm, on my shovel, in my hair, and buzzing around.  Didn't swat or startle.  I am so grateful to have the ability to listen, feel, learn and grow.  Thank you bee.

A very dear friend always ends her emails with a perfect salutation that compliments this topic. I don't think she'll mind if I use it this once. Much love to her. "Honey in the heart"...isn't that beautiful?  The bee makes us squeal and contort our bodies to make way, and revives fear in our being.  I hope that this story inspires you to see bee as a productive sweetness maker that can achieve the impossible, and to see everything from a deeper place of question and reflection.  For there is much to see in this miraculous nature-filled Earth.

Blessed be,

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Do you hear that? Is it a roar?

So, why is it we try to only feel and show emotions labeled "good"?  Who are we fooling, really? Who are we trying to convince, really?

We are molded through a system of reward that "good girls" don't do this..."good boys" do that.  This programming runs deep into our emotional map, but is it serving us as we carve our own passion's voice and path in our life?   What if our highest potential or our life's purpose requires us to piss some people off?  Yet, the stand we take to speak our truth is as necessary and essential to our life as the air we breath? In fact without that stand, without that roar from our authentic self, our light will suffocate and die out.

I realize that the outer world we live in has many restraints and judgments on those who dare to be different and challenge the conformity of social norm.  However, this isn't the way of the inner world where our authentic self lives and our truth is the language we speak.  I realize that when we aren't comfortable with our own empowerment and truth seeking we easily hide in the PC box and suffocate our roar.  Some would say it's easy...but how easy is it to slowly suffocate and live a light-less life?  How can it be easy to feel amplified anxiety and panic as your authentic self breaths less and less air?  How can it be easy to have your body manifest illness and disease because you are in this constant state of panic and lack of self truth?

Is it scary to stand up and speak your truthful language? Sure!

Could it be lonely when people exit your life because your truth language reminds them that they aren't willing to find their own roar and speak their own truth language? Sure!

Is it terrifying to be flooded with life changes that are necessary for creating a new inner landscape that nourishes your truth? Absolutely.

Is it uncomfortable to feel and show your raw and truthful emotions when you are used to locking them up?  Well, that is for you to decide.  Personally, I love the thrill and the rush of exploring new aspects and lands of my wild self.

I have lived through and know that all the scary, the terrifying, the uncomfortable is worth it because I now live and speak from my inner world and the vast resources it offers.  And I live there in deep gratitude for life, nature, and deep breaths.

I have found amazing happiness in letting my "good girl" die and creating an inner world that nurtures my roar.  I am okay with not always being popular, because I am okay with being my wild, authentic self.

The question for today is: do you hear a roar inside you?
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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Be Where you Are!

Be where you are.  A phrase with possible confusion to geographical reference, but in this case it will have a meaning of embracing your mental, emotional, or energetic state of being in any given moment or situation.

Be where you are...sounds so simple, doesn't it?  Sounds so freeing, doesn't it?  This is something I often tell myself and my clients, and it usually has a very grounding and introspective effect.  As if this phrase triggers a "freeze" command from the inner Self to take a moment and discover where you are, so you know where to be.  In this "freeze" the simple concept becomes layers of awareness to filter through.  The freedom becomes a download of observations and choices, and there is empowerment through intention and choice.  All of this within a breath of being where you are.

I love this phrase because it challenges the denial mechanism of the ego, allowing you to release the mind chatter of the ego by being in your truth of the moment or emotion. It challenges your intentional awareness to rise up and have a vision, and a voice in that moment.  And I find it challenges the inner Self (authentic Self) to take ownership of what you are creating, thereby giving you choices to intentionally redesign what you are creating. 

It is common nowadays for people to be so overloaded with external information that they aren't really sure where they are, or how to sit in it.  For example, feelings of sadness or grief.  How many times have you felt sad and you cover it up with a smile to "fake it till you make it"? When was the last time you felt anger and let the patterns of your upbringing talk you into avoiding conflict?  How often do you reach for a movie, TV, or social networking to pull your attention to other peoples lives, so you don't have to feel yours?  Sure...sadness, anger, or feeling less than aren't a day at the spa, but they are a piece of our human experience.  In truth, feeling EVERY emotion is a gift of knowledge and learning that we have the honor of experiencing in life. 

Just today, I was a bit out of sorts. Kinda cranky this morning.  My hubby politely observed that I was being awfully touchy and asked why.  In that moment, I took a deep breath and felt where I was.  I surrendered to my cranky and just immersed myself in it.  I felt the layers of egoic mind chatter about some thoughts I needed to release.  I realized that I had full power in where I was to choose to listen to the mind chatter and let it hold me hostage, or choose to let go of those thoughts that aren't making me happy and move into a lighter, happier day.  And it felt great to have the choice, and even better when I released those thoughts that weren't doing me any good.  It encourages me that the shift happens so swiftly when I don't allow denial of my emotions to keep me from where I am, and living fully in every moment.

I invite everyone to surrender to where you are in each moment, fearlessly be where you are and create choices for yourself and the situation.  Endless possibilities available to you...where you are!